Lady Gaga on her new album...

"The album is my absolute greatest work I've ever done and I'm so excited about it. The message, the melodies, the direction, the meaning, what it will mean to my fans and what it will mean in my own life — it's utter liberation. I knew I had an ability to change the world when I started to receive letters from fans: ‘You saved my life...' ‘I'm gay and my parents threw me out...' My fans have related to me as a human being and as a non-human being - as a super-human person that I truly am." And: "Everyone tells me I'm arrogant but my music's the only thing I've got, so you'll have to let me be confident about one thing. I suppose that's what you can expect from the album: a lot of hit records that will piss people off. Beyoncé said: ‘Where the fuck do you get these ideas from?' And I was like: ‘I don't know Bee, it was just the way I was born.'"

found via the amazing Jezebel

Awkward times at work

I was just sitting here reading a follow up to the most horendous sad story, a story that completely shocked me when it broke. The story about the robbers who tortured and murdered an entire family besides the father. Like, awful awful. I can't even imagine what would drive people to do that to others.

Well I was reading that and then my coworker said something really funny.

So my voice went to sigh from the story and then broke into a delayed laugh from my coworkers comment. What came out sounded like a broken fog horn. Everyone just stopped and went, what was that.

Awkward turtle.

Such a horrible case though. I think they should get the death penalty. They really deserve it.

The art of losing isn't hard to master

I've been repeating this Elizabeth Bishop poem in my mind lately. With so many friends leaving and so many changes in general, I feel like lose is something I'm confronting almost daily. It's a lovely poem though. And sad. My favorite combo.

One Art by Elizabeth

The art of losing isn't hard to master; 

so many things seem filled with the intent 

to be lost that their loss is no disaster.  

Lose something every day. 

Accept the fluster of lost door keys, the hour badly spent. 

The art of losing isn't hard to master.  

Then practice losing farther, losing faster: 

places, and names, and where it was you meant 

 to travel. None of these will bring disaster.  

I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or 

next-to-last, of three loved houses went. The art of losing isn't hard to master.  

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster, 

some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent. 

I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.   

--Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture 

I love) I shan't have lied.  It's evident 

the art of losing's not too hard to master 

though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.

This poem is especially fitting with my horoscope in today's Evening Standard:

"Ignore certain well-meaning souls who are trying to protect you. Their intentions are good, but they just don't understand how far-reaching the cycle of change you're currently experiencing will be. While you're short of facts, your instincts are making it clear that the most important accessory is an adventurous attitude."

Words to Live By

"What is the meaning of life? That was all- a simple question; one that tended to close in on one with years, the great revelation had never come. The great revelation perhaps never did come. Instead, there were little daily miracles, illuminations, matches struck unexpectedly in the dark."
— Virginia Woolf (To the Lighthouse)

Buy of the Week

Today I for some reason thought it would be a good idea to wear the ugliest pair of heels I have to work. Ugly, too big and uncomfortable. All round fail. So I took this opportunity to purchase what I've wanted for two years, tall leather (fake or real) boots. Luckily New Look was giving 20% off student discounts (my id expires in December), so I got ten £ off these babies. So happy right now.

Also, I didn't get them in black but in a plumish brown color. HOT.

British Shows I need to Watch

It seems like all of England is into two shows right now...

The Inbetweeners, which I've seen two episodes of. I need to catch up ASAP bc the men at work are not going to stop talking about it and I need to get the references. The next series started tonight and the trailer makes it look funny (which it must be because people LOVE IT).

And, This is England 86'. A lot more dark, but apparently amazing. I still need to see the film that started it.

It's way too late to be this locked inside ourselves The trouble is that you're in love with someone else It should be me. Oh, it should be me

Flashback to my youth tonight when a not trendy at all pub started playing all of Interpol's Antics. This song eventually came on and I was suddenly 16 again. My mental state was definitely not helped by my famished state and a third awkward run-in, making it one a week. Well, not full on awkward, but not a comfortable situation. Oh boy I'm going to regret this post. Meh. Enjoy the song, I'm going to recharge with food.

I should also point out, the song doesn't have to do with the awkwardness. I have other songs to go for that. All TV on the Radio songs. Which, incidentally replaced Interpol as my favorite band my Sophomore year of College. OMG more fitting because Interpol became my fav band my Sophomore year of high school and now I'm in my Sophomore year (?) of post undergrad life. It's like this was all meant to happen! Sarcasm. Oh God Hayley, put down the laptop...

DrEaMz

Saturday nightI had two CRAZY dreams. I'm including the Dream Moods Dictionary meanings so we can suss out what my mind is trying to tell me.

Dream 1

I dreamt that my hair kept falling out in clumps. I was so mad because I got it cut for it to be healthy and it just made my hair less healthy. I remember seeing handfulls of my hair when I ran my fingers through it.

Meaning:
"To dream that you are losing your hair, denotes that you are concerned with the notion that you are getting older and losing your sex appeal and virility. You are preoccupied with aging and your appearance. Losing your hair also signifies a lack of strength; you do not have the power to succeed in an undertaking. You may be feeling weak and vulnerable."

Well, I don't think the first part is true. I am definitely concerned with getting older, but I don't really have sex appeal to lose... I think the second part definitely is true. I feel powerless with some things in my life right now and I'm trying to be strong, but I guess ultimately I'm vulnerable. Good work mine.

Dream 2

This was a REAL crazy one. I had a dream that I was pregnant, but when I had the baby it died. My mom in the dream was white trash defined (mullet, ugly denim top, ugly ill fitting jeans, etc.) and didn't speak to my dad. My dad (who was basically Mickey Rourke) came to visit me in the hospital and gave me a big hug and said it would be alright. I started crying in the dream and actually woke up sobbing. Awful.

According to the dream dictionary

"To see a dead baby in your dream, symbolizes the ending of something that was once a part of you."

I can't imagine what part of myself is ending. WAIT I CAN. I just finished school for the first time ever and I'm afraid to enter the real world!!!! AH! It's so perfect!!! I really am though. Wow. Both dreams make crazy sense.

UPDATE: AH! I remember more of the baby dream. The baby died when someone threw it from a train!! WHAT DOES THAT MEAN!?!?

The closest thing in the Dream Dictionary is train wreck and it says:

To see or dream that you are in a train wreck, suggests chaos. The path to your goals are not going according to the way you planned it out. You are lacking self-confidence and having doubt in your ability to reach your goals.

Which I guess makes a lot of sense as well!