Things that Aren't Healthy that I Do

I've spent the last 15 minutes or so watching various versions of "If I loved you" from Carousel. As one does. Maybe someone out there LOVES ME. Here's various versions, ranked by how much I wish they were sung to me.

5) Hugh Jackman.

I always forget that Hugh Jackman can sing. This version is pretty lo-qual bootleg and I'm not really attracted to Hugh Jackman, also I think he might be gay, and I def don't need that. So I'd be flattered if he sung this to me, but overall ehhh.

4) Mandy Patinkin

I <3> Mandy but I'm just not really into him. Too old.

3) Elvis.

I'm not into Elvis. But I really like the piano in this. I also like what he does with the end of it. Also he doesn't intimidate me with his masculinity, so it might work. Plus, Elvis and I share a love of food so it would probably work out. We could be overweight together. That's Love.

2) the film version with Shirely Jones and Gordon MacRae.

This extensively features Julie and their witty banter, so I an imagine myself in the role more. But I'm not too into Gordon, though his voice is fab. He also styles his hair in a way that doesn't please me. But, the chemistry is fab. And he exudes masculinity in a way that kind of scares me. I want someone to love me like how he loves Julie! I think I would be scared to love him.

1) Patrick Wilson.

Excuse me as I vomit from extreme love. I would lose any sense of the morals that I have if Patrick revealed his love to me by singing this song. What a beautiful, talented man. And we would have such beautiful babies. And I bet he's a great dad to the children he had with another. Ahhhhhh. If I was there that night I think I would have started crying/hyperventilating. SO WONDERFUL.

Aaannnnddd that was a lot of procrastinating...