HA! I really do think the supposed lack of intelligence of most Americans is vastly incorrect. Living abroad has shown me that there are dumb people everywhere!

Essay Writing HELL

I have only 700 words left to write in the Foreign Policy essay I'm writing right now. I can't believe how quickly I've worked! Sadly, I have so so so so so much more to do in the next, oh three months. Hello stress induced weight gain and pimples!

FYI the only thing remotely productive I've done in the last, oh 2 hours, is have a massive Kate Bush sing-a-long by myself. Like seriously massive. Weird? NO.

This is Why I'm Single

I only like people who are completely unobtainable, for a variety of reasons. That's really the only thing uniting all the men I've fancied throughout the years. FUN.

This is probs what the psychic my mom visited was referring to when she told me to wear my red shoes- she didn't mean I should wear my red shoes but I should listen to Kate Bush a lot and hope for the best. MAYBE?

This woman is way too calm for the amount of money her collection is worth. I also want to say Kudos to the antique expert who is clearly a very smart man despite his intense accent. A little bit of an inspiration for me.

Holy Food Heaven. I just went to go return a shirt that I bought yesterday (apparently I am waaayyy too pale to pull of pastels) and there was an added bonus in this journey because of Saturday the Brunswick Centre has a food market. I walked around three times before making my selection. I went for a fried risotto balls wrap. OH Em Gee. The risotto was amazzzziinngg. So deliciously filling. I definitely want to go again, but I might just set the salad instead. Though the wrap made for handy eating while walking. Also the man making it was really friendly. BONUS.

Things Learned Today

Portobello Market should be avoided at all costs. I hated it two years ago and I hated it today. Overpriced and filled with annoying tourists. And only a few food stands! LAME.

My New Favorite Column EVER

Malcolm Tucker aka the most brilliant character from the completely show The Thick of It (and the film in the loop), both about British politics/ new labour, has "written" a column for the Guardian. It's hilarious and makes some good points at the same time. It's not, however, for those who are easily offended by a multiple of things.

Some highlights:

" I tell you what, we need more of a strategy than to say, "Ooo, winter's over in Narnia, let's watch the crocuses push up, and the rabbits hump and we can relax and put up our World Cup wallcharts."

"I prefer to conduct my own polling by the means of ripping chickens apart, and reading the tea leaves I have force-fed them. And what this is telling me is that however well we think we're doing, we are currently located midway up shit creek, in the vicinity of the hamlet of Nofuckingpaddles."

"They're in bed with the Ulster Unionists. And I think this is a good week to not unfairly characterise these guys as beardy weirdy, bollocks-in-the-mangle old-time-religion, one-step-from-Waco fruitcakes."

I'm going to start referring to my Ulster friends as "Beardy weirdy, bollocks-in-the-mangle old-time-religion, one-step-from-Waco fruitcakes." I'm sure once I do, our friendship will become even stronger because I surely would want to be referred to in that way. I still had a good LOL.