Things that Will Most Likely Never Happen in My Life

Damn you Jane Austen. Of course a spinster would imagine the most wonderful letter a man could ever write a woman. I present you with Captain Wentworth's letter to Anne in Persuasion, the greatest Jane Austen novel. Do things of this level romantically actual happen in real life? They certainly do not to me. Wah.

'I can listen no longer in silence. I must speak to you by such means as are within my reach. You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone for ever. I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it, eight years and a half ago. Dare not say that man forgets sooner than woman, that his love has an earlier death. I have loved none but you. Unjust I may have been, weak and resentful I have been, but never inconstant. You alone have brought me to Bath. For you alone, I think and plan. Have you not seen this? Can you fail to have understood my wishes? I had not waited even these ten days, could I have read your feelings, as I think you must have penetrated mine. I can hardly write. I am every instant hearing something which overpowers me. You sink your voice, but I can distinguish the tones of that voice when they would be lost on others. Too good, too excellent creature! You do us justice, indeed. You do believe that there is true attachment and constancy among men.

Believe it to be most fervent, most undeviating, in
F. W.

Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!! Excuse me while I go cry in the corner of my room, while shaking my fist into the air.