“It is a strange thing to come home. While yet on the journey, you cannot at all realize how strange it will be.”

-Selma Lagerlof

Back to England tomorrow (well I arrive Wednesday morning...) and back to my quasi grownup international young professional life.

RIP WAGNER. How I shall miss you.

When All I Want is You

Thanks X Factor for reminding me of this song.

Things I've Been Up To

• After worrying since June, it took the British Consulate a mere TWO HOURS to process my visa. It came in the mail the next day, now I'm all set to return to the UK on the 30th!
• I ate so much on Thanksgiving I literally had to lay on our family friends couch for a good thirty minutes until I could move without any pain. Oyyyy. I need to detox before my office Christmas party and Northern Irish Christmas!
• My Godmother cleared out her closet and gave me a heap of amazing clothes including two cashmere sweaters, J Brand skinny jeans (great for mah fat thighs), a J Crew jacket and THESE BABIES IN LOVE
• And my mom took me to Marshalls, so I'm coming back to England with a new wardrobe that is nothing like the intern's wardrobe I was so sick of before.
• My skin is so dry here. Wah.
• It snowed today.
• I bought my ticket for the next Catz ball and got a supa hot dress to wear. I'll also wear the dress to the office Christmas party.
• I think I've gotten to the point where caffeine has no effect on me, probably not healthy.

Daily Mail Link of the Mornin'

The best part about this story covering the bizarre lawsuit the Prince of Brunei is embroiled in is when the Reporter states about his former fiancee's testimony: While in the witness box she looked little like the statues... perhaps because she was clothed"

Ahhhhh! So Sad! Though I think I still like the Whitney version better for it's intensity. Dolly, however, is such a talented wonderful woman.

In other stress inducing news, my internet is being hella slow at uploading the X Factor Beatles performances from last night on youtube. AHHHHH

UPDATE: They're actually videos of the entire performances, pre singing, singing and judges, so I'll happily wait!

Oh Fantastic

USPS attempted to deliver my entire life to the British Consulate yesterday, but surprise surprise no one was there. Now my passport is somewhere in post office limbo. I'm freaking out that they won't make a second attempt to deliver it on Monday and that my package will remain unclaimed for 5 days, they'll send it back to me and by that point I'll be beyond screwed. It says on my postal slip that they make a second attempt, but online it says that the consulate has to claim it and there's no effing way they're going to do that. So basically, I'm going to freak out until tomorrow when I can check which is true. This is all my fault because I should have either waived delivery confirmation or (more sensibly) said no weekend delivery. I just emotionally CANNOT DEAL with something stupid like this ruining my well organized visa plan.

COME ON USPS MAKE A SECOND DELIVERY ATTEMPT ON MONDAY!!!!!!

home update

I sent ye olde visa app in yesterday. Priority mailed it to New York with an extra 150$ so they expedite that shit. I meet all the requirements, but I'm still freaked out that I forgot something, that something is wrong, that they'll reject me for some unknown reason. Yikes. Well, I should know my fate by Wednesday. And if everything goes well, then I can start thinking about my life for the next two years and plan my transformation into the confident successful woman I'm DESTINED to be aaahhahaha. Too.Tired.

marry me Jesse Eisenberg

this actually made me cry

America vs UK

American Christmas commercial:

British Christmas commercial:

I think the point is clear.

When I first saw the title of this film, I assumed it would be a shitty joke film. Then I saw the cast list and the producers and watched the trailer and my mind changed. Still, ridiculous title/concept right?!!

A dramatic retelling of my journey HOME

Stage 1)

I left work early on Monday and headed to Liverpool St. station. Concerningly (not a word) my boss seemed to not realize I was leaving that day. Oh well! I got to Liverpool and got on the very expensive Stanstead Express. The train was a lot more rundown than I recall, but oh wellll.

Stage 2)

RYAN AIR. Meh it wasn't so bad. Well, It was what I expected. I got a decent seat, sat next to a well dressed Irish man who picked at his teeth/nose constantly. Oh and I checked a bag and it could only be 15kg or like 34lbs, well mine was 16 so I had to remove some shit and it became exactly 15kg wooo. But I then had the heaviest carry on evah ugh. The worst part about Ryan Air for me was the constant ads they play over the announcements, asking if you want to buy a ryan air calendar (hell no), a ryan air scratch card (wtf), a ryan air special edition 5 hour energy (nooo), and so on.

Stage 3)

I got my bag super quick and got my passport stamp from the Guarda. Then I wandered around the parking lot for literally 25 minutes trying to find the correct spot for my airport shuttle. I found it and had just missed the shuttle, meaning I had to wait 45 minutes for the next one. Awful. Several Irish people approached me and asked if I needed help, well that wouldn't happen in England!

Stage 4)

Dublin Airport Hilton. Located about a 15 minute ride away from the airport but whatevah! It was kind of disappointing for a hilton, the bed was super ikea looking and not that comfortable. They did have a nice tea selection. Also there was NO WIRELESS ughhh. Internet detox!

Stage 5)

I wandered around the Dublin airport preflight and headed into the special American departure lounge. Fun fact, I went through customs/American entry clearance in Dublin! And the Border agent was from Buffalo so we had a little chat about Upstate shit. Small world! That was the best part of flying out of Dublin because once I got to New York I didn't have to endure long lines, I just walked through like I was on a domestic flight! Oh also, they checked my bag through to Rochester so I didn't have to pay 25$ holllahhh!

Anyways, so I'm used to flying out of London on huge relatively nice jets. The one out of Dublin was relatively tiny for the distance. Like even the Iceland Air jet I flew was bigger. So because of its size there were NO individual tvs and none of the wifi now on Delta flights. And of course, the movie they showed was one I've already seen. And my laptop only had an hour of battery life. So it was a very very boring flight. And the man behind me started talking to the girl sitting across the aisle from him and he was full of shite. Like I felt so bad for the poor girl, he just went on and on and on. And he was talking sooo loud. ughhhh.

Stage 6)

I had a 3 hour layover at JFK so I bought my first american "meal," a very large iced caramel coffee and a pumpkin donut from Dunkin Donuts. Hollaahhh! Then I bought an American Glamour (so much better than the British one!! Though the British one came with really nice nail polish called Hampstead Heath) and a copy of Real Simple! Aka a magazine for chic 40 year old housewives. I love it! I then got on a tiny tiny tiny plane for Rochester, where we waited on the runway for 30 minutes. And then endured forty five minutes of constant turbulance. And got to the airport and my parents weren't there. So I had to approach a random nice looking girl and say "I live in England, I don't have an American phone or any american money can I please use your phone?" That did the trick and I was then reunited with the parents.

HOMMEEEEEEEE

My second American meal, fyi, was a burger and fries from 5 guys!

Today I go to Buffalo to get fingerprinted for the UK government. Fun times.

I've been thinking about this dialogue constantly

I need a Bob in my life to guide me.

Charlotte: I'm stuck. Does it get easier.
Bob: No. Yes. It gets easier.
Charlotte: Oh yeah? Look at you.
Bob: Thanks. The more you know who you are, and what you want, the less you let things upset you.
-Lost in Translation

Amazing new John Lewis Christmas advert. So British. So Christmas. So magical.

Elton John night on X Factor. None of the performances were as good as this:



Though, in the end, I ended up having not one but FOUR friends over to watch it. Thus my original fears of having a lonely Saturday were unfounded.

Yeah you're worth the trouble and you're worth the pain
And you're worth the worry, I would do the same
If we all went back to another time
I will love you over
I will love you

My number one Christmas wish

I WANT ONE. I shared this amazing advert with a friend who then stated, "Those are honsetly some of the most disgusting things I've ever seen - who came up with the idea of a barbie doll but in pig form?!?! And then to sell them in a teacup?!?! teacup piggie!"

But, he is SO wrong. They're magical and cute lil' babies!

Things

1- I have a new coworker who bought a square foot of land on a Scottish royal estate, which thereby makes him eligible to use the title Lord. This is not a joke. WTF.

2- I ate a KFC banquet for one last night for dinner. I kind of hate myself for it and feel VERY Liz Lemon. Yum yum yum!

3- I was convinced last night and today would be lonely lonely days BUT I skyped with Oxford Northern Irish twin for about two hours last night after happy hour, where we talked about how lame our lives are. AND today one of my lovely friends is coming up to the GG for X Factor, and she's bringing a Marks and Spencers dine in for two meal! YES!

4- I leave MONDAY!!! I'm packing today and dropping my bag off at work. The Monday I fly to Dublin and spend the night in the Dublin Airport Hilton, caching, then Tuesday fly home to mah mommay and dadday wahooo! Rochester!

Hopefully my visa adventure will go smoothly and I'll soon be back in the UK, ready to sort out mah vida loca.

LOL

I can't stop thinking about Blade Runner! Best usage of a lazy Sunday evvaahhh! (aka that I can remember)

YES AND YES

Rochester in this looks like the English man of my dreams.

Things that Happened at Work Today

1- One of our providers (?) took me out to lunch last friday and came in today to train some of our new guys (guys of course, still no girls! I honestly think it's messing up my hormones) bringing with her the book The Rules for me to borrow. She thinks it'll help my life. It's a book about how to snag a husband. Yup I both give off the vibe of needing that and give off the I'm ready for a husband vibe. YEY

2- A guy called for my coworker while he was in the meeting, I spoke to him a bit bc it was lunch and no one was working. Big mistake. He told me about his two times in America and then proceeded to ask me why I was working as a receptionist if I'm so smart (THANKS!), then told me that I must not have many friends in the UK. I told him I had a good amount bc I went to two UK unis, told him which and he said, wow we're both smart we should go on a date. He then asked me to meet him at his local pub and said he knew amy winehouse. He wouldn't stop. He was SO creepy.

My enemy Katie remains. UGH

CRUMBLE UPDATE

Overall the Crumble is pretty good. Very simple, two different kinds of apple, with sugar spread on them, covered with a crumble topping made of flour, sugar, butter and cinnamon.

It needs a bit more sugar and the apples could be made a little more fancy, but overall a nice Sunday treat!

Updates

• I passed my masters!!! Actually did pretty well on everything grade-wise. Onto the next source of panic, getting my visa easily!
• A week from Monday I start my journey home by flying to Dublin and then to America the next day!
• I got a killer deal at the 4 star Dublin Airport Hilton- ca ching!
• I just made some crumble... we'll see how it turns out...
• I bought a supa cute purse at the Clarks outlet yesterday. They had hardly any shoes in my large size :( Oh well, I need to save money.
• I dyed my hair "dark plum" because I felt like I needed a change. Saucy.
• I went to Clapham fireworks the second year in a row on Friday. Learned that Clapham is painfully far from GG.

Eeek I'm SO excited to be homeeeeee. Hopefully it all goes smoothly!

SHIT

BYE KATIE

WAGNER FOR THE WIN

Also, apologies readers, this week has been a busy one. But I'm doing nothing today besides reading the paper and getting a bagel, so plenty of time to bloggg.

One of the Most Symbolic Dreams EVER

Last night I had a dream that SCREAMED meaningful symbolism. So in the dream, I was in a rundown council estate that was somehow my new family home, it was disgusting. My Mom, Taylor, and grandparents were there. And they gave me a package with a butterfly in it, but I opened it incorrectly and the butterfly died. But it had skin and a skeleton, and the skin was black and almost furry, with huge antennas, kind of a goth scary butterfly. It's skeleton was terrifying looking though and I kept seeing it in the dream.

Then my mom was mad at me, but my family seemed to be really into butterflies. The final moment came when I walked into my room and my bed was covered in caterpillars at various stages of development. I freaked out bc they were gross and made my mom get them off the bed.

So according to Dream Moods Dictionary,

To Dream of a rundown building means:

"To see a building in ruins or damaged, indicates that your approach toward a situation or relationship is all wrong. You need to change. Your own self-image may have suffered and taken some blow."

To Dream of dead butterflies me (don't agree with this one... I'll explain later):

"To catch or kill a butterfly, suggests that you are being too superficial"

To dream of Caterpillars means:

"To see a caterpillar in your dream, signifies a stage in your own personal growth and development where you are on your way, but have not yet reached your goal."

Sooo my interpretation is that the dead scary butterfly and rundown house represent old ways of thinking and old dreams I had that I'm holding onto for too long/ that are hopeless. They never took flight and they never will. The caterpillars in all different stages of development probably symbolize the new dreams/new life path that is currently growing in my life, not ready to reveal itself. A life path that may be a little scary, but will ultimately transform into an alive, beautiful butterfly.

Riiiggghhhhhtttttt.

oh anxiety

I've been beyond homesick recently. I miss my family SO much and I miss Rochester, everything about it. Even the snow. I just keep thinking about how wonderful it will be to be home and just lay on my couch and watch tv. That's all I want to do.

The issue is, I won't have a good trip home if I don't receive my masters results, or if God forbid, I fail my masters. That would honestly be the worst thing in the world that has ever happened for me. Not only with 35,000 dollars me wasted, but I'll have to quit my job with hardly any notice, thereby making my employers hate me for life, and then I'll have to sort out my place because I won't be able to get my post grad visa. And I won't be able to go to Northern Ireland for Christmas. Any my life will literally be ruined. Like not kidding.

I don't even know when these results are supposed to come. I though it would be this week but who knows. I can't focus on my life. Like I really cannot. Thanks UCL.

So that's the biggest problem in my life right now. I need to pass and I need to get my visa letter so I can easily apply for my next visa when home. Then I can worry about that.

I know I like London, I just can't focus on that right now. Something in me just tells me that I have to stick it out, I have to be strong because being here is where I need to be at this point in my life. I've put so many things in my life on hold until I find out my results and get my visa. Oh please let me have passed.

I know this post is all sorts of crazy, but It's the main worry in my life now.

And I'm lonely, but I can't focus on that because I NEED TO GET MY RESULTS! I'm just sick of coming home to an unfriendly house, where I have to spend my evenings in my room trying to fill the hours before bed. It's probably not healthy.

Basically, I need this vacation. But, firstly I need to find out about my masters.