ha!

I think this Daily Mail headline says it all:

Not our finest hour! Planes grounded, thousands of festive holidays ruined, roads ungritted, drivers stranded for hours . . . and all because it snowed

Snowy Weekend

Laura Marling is one of those singer's I knew marginally but never really listened to. What a loss to my life. She's wonderful AND SO YOUNG! But her voice sounds so much older. So confused. So jealous of her voice.

Here's a nice weather appropriate song:

Like... wow.

Also, the snow this weekend was overwhelming, mostly because 10% of Golders Green is salted, the rest hasn't remotely seen salt or a shovel. Lots of climbing through piles. I also got a blackberry and am 1000% addicted. Finally with the times.

I am OBSESSED with his voice. Like OBSESSED.

I heard this song for the first time last week. Apparently it's a British Christmas classic that I've been missing my whole American-centered life. It's pretty catchy and I think my dad would like it (he's a hip guy).

The most pretentious film ever? What is this even about? Aka so excited.

Sorry I've been MIA forever. Life ahhhh.

All the Things that I Ate

Last night I threw a bring a dish X Factor party. Basically, bring a dish because I'm 1-too poor to provide all the food and 2- it allows people to bring foods I've never tried/things I wouldn't think to make. It was amazing. I ate SO SO SO SO much. And I "invented" a pretty amazing cocktail.

What I ate:

-An assortment of cheese- Camembert, Brie, Roquefort

- A pasta bake I made

- A carmelized onion, goats cheese and tomato tart

- Kettle Crisps

- Smoked Salmon Bellinis

- A cupcake

-mincemeat tart

- Cinnimon apple whole foods cake.

AND LOTS OF MY AMAZING alcoholic creation:

Soak frozen berries in bourbon for an hour or so, then pour raspberry cranberry juice over it. Simple, but SO delicious!

British Christmas Adverts take TWO

So whilst the John Lewis christmas adverts legit make me cry, the Little Boots advert inspires a different sort of feeling in me:

This of course is the fantastic scene in the Nightmare Before Christmas, where the song originates from. The Littlewoods advert just destroys its magic and makes my soul slightly weep.

The Sunscreen Song remains my therapost

I've been repeating this to myself a lot recently: Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

This is my friends Grandpa... I'm a litttlleee obsessed.

Remembering when I saw your face shining my way, pure timing

ALSO

I actually am in LOVE with them. I don't care that they're 16.

random sunday discussions

I couldn't sleep at all last night. Well... not until 2am. I had to take a sleeping pill then I fell asleep till 1045!!!! Which is BEYOND late for me. I think it was a mixture of jetlag and general confusion over mah hot life. My big issue currently is comparing myself to other people. One of my many New Years Resolutions is to stop doing that.

Though, a friend yesterday sent me a wake up to reality text pointing out that I have a secure job, friends, a nice flat and a master's degree! WORD. But then I don't know what I want to do with my life, or how I'll ever pay off my loans. Fun.

In unrelated news, my house has been SO COLD. Like I had to buy an extra heater and use three blankets cold. Then finally last night I was so hot I only used one blanket and slept in a tanktop. Heating victory.

Oh and Ruth and I finally tried the Italian restaurant under a bridge (literally) in Golders Green. I walk by this multiple times every day and have always wanted to try it. Well... it was AMAZING. Like, possibly better than Ciao Bella in Bloomsbury amazing. The staff were all clearly Italian (well... I think), which is a good sign. The food was fairly priced and AMAZING (they don't skimp on cheese!), the wine decent and cheap, the staff friendly AND they gave us Lemoncello shots at the end of our meal. Not sure if that was standard practice, put it added to the experience! Also one of the staff members who vaguely looked like Pete Doherty started singing opera like music while playing the piano. New.Favorite.Restaurant.

dying

Listening to BBC Radio 6 as per us and Cerys Matthews just read the last paragraph of The Dead while playing folksy blues music in the background. I am DYING. I literally had to stop what I was doing (facebook stalking...) and just sit with my eyes closed and listen. I'll post the link when it's up on the website.

So excited for Christmas eve when I make Jonathan read it (preferably in front of a fire, adding to the atmosphere). He doesn't know that I'm going to make him do this yet... but it's going to epic. Like the time I made him read Yeats's "Second Coming." I can hear it how Joyce would have!

Oh goodness I hope the weather doesn't deter me from my journey North! Less than three weeks!

I went into work today to catch up on my HUGE data entry backlog (YEY MY LIFFFEEEE!!!!) and this song coming onto BBC Radio 6 was the highlight of my alone time in the office:

I've now been playing it on repeat.

X Factor and food fest with Ruth tonight.

Also, I don't get paid until December 17th wahhhhhh poverty.

I was ready to hate this song... but my hatred never manifested. I think I've never forgiven Coldplay for X&Y, which I HATED HATED HATED.

Anyways, update post soooooon!

“It is a strange thing to come home. While yet on the journey, you cannot at all realize how strange it will be.”

-Selma Lagerlof

Back to England tomorrow (well I arrive Wednesday morning...) and back to my quasi grownup international young professional life.

RIP WAGNER. How I shall miss you.

When All I Want is You

Thanks X Factor for reminding me of this song.

Things I've Been Up To

• After worrying since June, it took the British Consulate a mere TWO HOURS to process my visa. It came in the mail the next day, now I'm all set to return to the UK on the 30th!
• I ate so much on Thanksgiving I literally had to lay on our family friends couch for a good thirty minutes until I could move without any pain. Oyyyy. I need to detox before my office Christmas party and Northern Irish Christmas!
• My Godmother cleared out her closet and gave me a heap of amazing clothes including two cashmere sweaters, J Brand skinny jeans (great for mah fat thighs), a J Crew jacket and THESE BABIES IN LOVE
• And my mom took me to Marshalls, so I'm coming back to England with a new wardrobe that is nothing like the intern's wardrobe I was so sick of before.
• My skin is so dry here. Wah.
• It snowed today.
• I bought my ticket for the next Catz ball and got a supa hot dress to wear. I'll also wear the dress to the office Christmas party.
• I think I've gotten to the point where caffeine has no effect on me, probably not healthy.

Daily Mail Link of the Mornin'

The best part about this story covering the bizarre lawsuit the Prince of Brunei is embroiled in is when the Reporter states about his former fiancee's testimony: While in the witness box she looked little like the statues... perhaps because she was clothed"

Ahhhhh! So Sad! Though I think I still like the Whitney version better for it's intensity. Dolly, however, is such a talented wonderful woman.

In other stress inducing news, my internet is being hella slow at uploading the X Factor Beatles performances from last night on youtube. AHHHHH

UPDATE: They're actually videos of the entire performances, pre singing, singing and judges, so I'll happily wait!

Oh Fantastic

USPS attempted to deliver my entire life to the British Consulate yesterday, but surprise surprise no one was there. Now my passport is somewhere in post office limbo. I'm freaking out that they won't make a second attempt to deliver it on Monday and that my package will remain unclaimed for 5 days, they'll send it back to me and by that point I'll be beyond screwed. It says on my postal slip that they make a second attempt, but online it says that the consulate has to claim it and there's no effing way they're going to do that. So basically, I'm going to freak out until tomorrow when I can check which is true. This is all my fault because I should have either waived delivery confirmation or (more sensibly) said no weekend delivery. I just emotionally CANNOT DEAL with something stupid like this ruining my well organized visa plan.

COME ON USPS MAKE A SECOND DELIVERY ATTEMPT ON MONDAY!!!!!!

home update

I sent ye olde visa app in yesterday. Priority mailed it to New York with an extra 150$ so they expedite that shit. I meet all the requirements, but I'm still freaked out that I forgot something, that something is wrong, that they'll reject me for some unknown reason. Yikes. Well, I should know my fate by Wednesday. And if everything goes well, then I can start thinking about my life for the next two years and plan my transformation into the confident successful woman I'm DESTINED to be aaahhahaha. Too.Tired.

marry me Jesse Eisenberg

this actually made me cry

America vs UK

American Christmas commercial:

British Christmas commercial:

I think the point is clear.

When I first saw the title of this film, I assumed it would be a shitty joke film. Then I saw the cast list and the producers and watched the trailer and my mind changed. Still, ridiculous title/concept right?!!

A dramatic retelling of my journey HOME

Stage 1)

I left work early on Monday and headed to Liverpool St. station. Concerningly (not a word) my boss seemed to not realize I was leaving that day. Oh well! I got to Liverpool and got on the very expensive Stanstead Express. The train was a lot more rundown than I recall, but oh wellll.

Stage 2)

RYAN AIR. Meh it wasn't so bad. Well, It was what I expected. I got a decent seat, sat next to a well dressed Irish man who picked at his teeth/nose constantly. Oh and I checked a bag and it could only be 15kg or like 34lbs, well mine was 16 so I had to remove some shit and it became exactly 15kg wooo. But I then had the heaviest carry on evah ugh. The worst part about Ryan Air for me was the constant ads they play over the announcements, asking if you want to buy a ryan air calendar (hell no), a ryan air scratch card (wtf), a ryan air special edition 5 hour energy (nooo), and so on.

Stage 3)

I got my bag super quick and got my passport stamp from the Guarda. Then I wandered around the parking lot for literally 25 minutes trying to find the correct spot for my airport shuttle. I found it and had just missed the shuttle, meaning I had to wait 45 minutes for the next one. Awful. Several Irish people approached me and asked if I needed help, well that wouldn't happen in England!

Stage 4)

Dublin Airport Hilton. Located about a 15 minute ride away from the airport but whatevah! It was kind of disappointing for a hilton, the bed was super ikea looking and not that comfortable. They did have a nice tea selection. Also there was NO WIRELESS ughhh. Internet detox!

Stage 5)

I wandered around the Dublin airport preflight and headed into the special American departure lounge. Fun fact, I went through customs/American entry clearance in Dublin! And the Border agent was from Buffalo so we had a little chat about Upstate shit. Small world! That was the best part of flying out of Dublin because once I got to New York I didn't have to endure long lines, I just walked through like I was on a domestic flight! Oh also, they checked my bag through to Rochester so I didn't have to pay 25$ holllahhh!

Anyways, so I'm used to flying out of London on huge relatively nice jets. The one out of Dublin was relatively tiny for the distance. Like even the Iceland Air jet I flew was bigger. So because of its size there were NO individual tvs and none of the wifi now on Delta flights. And of course, the movie they showed was one I've already seen. And my laptop only had an hour of battery life. So it was a very very boring flight. And the man behind me started talking to the girl sitting across the aisle from him and he was full of shite. Like I felt so bad for the poor girl, he just went on and on and on. And he was talking sooo loud. ughhhh.

Stage 6)

I had a 3 hour layover at JFK so I bought my first american "meal," a very large iced caramel coffee and a pumpkin donut from Dunkin Donuts. Hollaahhh! Then I bought an American Glamour (so much better than the British one!! Though the British one came with really nice nail polish called Hampstead Heath) and a copy of Real Simple! Aka a magazine for chic 40 year old housewives. I love it! I then got on a tiny tiny tiny plane for Rochester, where we waited on the runway for 30 minutes. And then endured forty five minutes of constant turbulance. And got to the airport and my parents weren't there. So I had to approach a random nice looking girl and say "I live in England, I don't have an American phone or any american money can I please use your phone?" That did the trick and I was then reunited with the parents.

HOMMEEEEEEEE

My second American meal, fyi, was a burger and fries from 5 guys!

Today I go to Buffalo to get fingerprinted for the UK government. Fun times.

I've been thinking about this dialogue constantly

I need a Bob in my life to guide me.

Charlotte: I'm stuck. Does it get easier.
Bob: No. Yes. It gets easier.
Charlotte: Oh yeah? Look at you.
Bob: Thanks. The more you know who you are, and what you want, the less you let things upset you.
-Lost in Translation

Amazing new John Lewis Christmas advert. So British. So Christmas. So magical.

Elton John night on X Factor. None of the performances were as good as this:



Though, in the end, I ended up having not one but FOUR friends over to watch it. Thus my original fears of having a lonely Saturday were unfounded.

Yeah you're worth the trouble and you're worth the pain
And you're worth the worry, I would do the same
If we all went back to another time
I will love you over
I will love you

My number one Christmas wish

I WANT ONE. I shared this amazing advert with a friend who then stated, "Those are honsetly some of the most disgusting things I've ever seen - who came up with the idea of a barbie doll but in pig form?!?! And then to sell them in a teacup?!?! teacup piggie!"

But, he is SO wrong. They're magical and cute lil' babies!

Things

1- I have a new coworker who bought a square foot of land on a Scottish royal estate, which thereby makes him eligible to use the title Lord. This is not a joke. WTF.

2- I ate a KFC banquet for one last night for dinner. I kind of hate myself for it and feel VERY Liz Lemon. Yum yum yum!

3- I was convinced last night and today would be lonely lonely days BUT I skyped with Oxford Northern Irish twin for about two hours last night after happy hour, where we talked about how lame our lives are. AND today one of my lovely friends is coming up to the GG for X Factor, and she's bringing a Marks and Spencers dine in for two meal! YES!

4- I leave MONDAY!!! I'm packing today and dropping my bag off at work. The Monday I fly to Dublin and spend the night in the Dublin Airport Hilton, caching, then Tuesday fly home to mah mommay and dadday wahooo! Rochester!

Hopefully my visa adventure will go smoothly and I'll soon be back in the UK, ready to sort out mah vida loca.

LOL

I can't stop thinking about Blade Runner! Best usage of a lazy Sunday evvaahhh! (aka that I can remember)

YES AND YES

Rochester in this looks like the English man of my dreams.

Things that Happened at Work Today

1- One of our providers (?) took me out to lunch last friday and came in today to train some of our new guys (guys of course, still no girls! I honestly think it's messing up my hormones) bringing with her the book The Rules for me to borrow. She thinks it'll help my life. It's a book about how to snag a husband. Yup I both give off the vibe of needing that and give off the I'm ready for a husband vibe. YEY

2- A guy called for my coworker while he was in the meeting, I spoke to him a bit bc it was lunch and no one was working. Big mistake. He told me about his two times in America and then proceeded to ask me why I was working as a receptionist if I'm so smart (THANKS!), then told me that I must not have many friends in the UK. I told him I had a good amount bc I went to two UK unis, told him which and he said, wow we're both smart we should go on a date. He then asked me to meet him at his local pub and said he knew amy winehouse. He wouldn't stop. He was SO creepy.

My enemy Katie remains. UGH

CRUMBLE UPDATE

Overall the Crumble is pretty good. Very simple, two different kinds of apple, with sugar spread on them, covered with a crumble topping made of flour, sugar, butter and cinnamon.

It needs a bit more sugar and the apples could be made a little more fancy, but overall a nice Sunday treat!

Updates

• I passed my masters!!! Actually did pretty well on everything grade-wise. Onto the next source of panic, getting my visa easily!
• A week from Monday I start my journey home by flying to Dublin and then to America the next day!
• I got a killer deal at the 4 star Dublin Airport Hilton- ca ching!
• I just made some crumble... we'll see how it turns out...
• I bought a supa cute purse at the Clarks outlet yesterday. They had hardly any shoes in my large size :( Oh well, I need to save money.
• I dyed my hair "dark plum" because I felt like I needed a change. Saucy.
• I went to Clapham fireworks the second year in a row on Friday. Learned that Clapham is painfully far from GG.

Eeek I'm SO excited to be homeeeeee. Hopefully it all goes smoothly!

SHIT

BYE KATIE

WAGNER FOR THE WIN

Also, apologies readers, this week has been a busy one. But I'm doing nothing today besides reading the paper and getting a bagel, so plenty of time to bloggg.

One of the Most Symbolic Dreams EVER

Last night I had a dream that SCREAMED meaningful symbolism. So in the dream, I was in a rundown council estate that was somehow my new family home, it was disgusting. My Mom, Taylor, and grandparents were there. And they gave me a package with a butterfly in it, but I opened it incorrectly and the butterfly died. But it had skin and a skeleton, and the skin was black and almost furry, with huge antennas, kind of a goth scary butterfly. It's skeleton was terrifying looking though and I kept seeing it in the dream.

Then my mom was mad at me, but my family seemed to be really into butterflies. The final moment came when I walked into my room and my bed was covered in caterpillars at various stages of development. I freaked out bc they were gross and made my mom get them off the bed.

So according to Dream Moods Dictionary,

To Dream of a rundown building means:

"To see a building in ruins or damaged, indicates that your approach toward a situation or relationship is all wrong. You need to change. Your own self-image may have suffered and taken some blow."

To Dream of dead butterflies me (don't agree with this one... I'll explain later):

"To catch or kill a butterfly, suggests that you are being too superficial"

To dream of Caterpillars means:

"To see a caterpillar in your dream, signifies a stage in your own personal growth and development where you are on your way, but have not yet reached your goal."

Sooo my interpretation is that the dead scary butterfly and rundown house represent old ways of thinking and old dreams I had that I'm holding onto for too long/ that are hopeless. They never took flight and they never will. The caterpillars in all different stages of development probably symbolize the new dreams/new life path that is currently growing in my life, not ready to reveal itself. A life path that may be a little scary, but will ultimately transform into an alive, beautiful butterfly.

Riiiggghhhhhtttttt.

oh anxiety

I've been beyond homesick recently. I miss my family SO much and I miss Rochester, everything about it. Even the snow. I just keep thinking about how wonderful it will be to be home and just lay on my couch and watch tv. That's all I want to do.

The issue is, I won't have a good trip home if I don't receive my masters results, or if God forbid, I fail my masters. That would honestly be the worst thing in the world that has ever happened for me. Not only with 35,000 dollars me wasted, but I'll have to quit my job with hardly any notice, thereby making my employers hate me for life, and then I'll have to sort out my place because I won't be able to get my post grad visa. And I won't be able to go to Northern Ireland for Christmas. Any my life will literally be ruined. Like not kidding.

I don't even know when these results are supposed to come. I though it would be this week but who knows. I can't focus on my life. Like I really cannot. Thanks UCL.

So that's the biggest problem in my life right now. I need to pass and I need to get my visa letter so I can easily apply for my next visa when home. Then I can worry about that.

I know I like London, I just can't focus on that right now. Something in me just tells me that I have to stick it out, I have to be strong because being here is where I need to be at this point in my life. I've put so many things in my life on hold until I find out my results and get my visa. Oh please let me have passed.

I know this post is all sorts of crazy, but It's the main worry in my life now.

And I'm lonely, but I can't focus on that because I NEED TO GET MY RESULTS! I'm just sick of coming home to an unfriendly house, where I have to spend my evenings in my room trying to fill the hours before bed. It's probably not healthy.

Basically, I need this vacation. But, firstly I need to find out about my masters.

I always see a man walking around Golder Green who looks just like Tevye. Well, a fatter Tevye. But it always reminds me of this song. And the second saddest song from Fiddler on the Roof.

Wow I really think they went to Golders Green to fill all the Fiddler on the Roof extra roles. Love the GG.

And the best song in Fiddler on the Roof:

Sorry for all the videos this morning my 5 readers, it's been one of those Sundays.

University Park, Oxford

Should look through some old photos I adored you in every one of those.

There is Something Rotten in Denmark and it's His Piss Poor Attitude

It never gets old. And he offers really solid advice.

I "discovered" this song today and am totally obsessed. Oh Robert Smith, what a legend.

Let yourself go. Pull out from the depths those thoughts that you do not understand, and spread them out in the sunlight and know the meaning of them.

A ROOM WITH A VIEW, E.M. FORSTER

(via Fuck Yea, Literary Quotes)

Monday's Sunrise

Now that it's becoming winter, it's pretty much pitch dark every morning when I wake up, meaning I get to watch the sunrise. Monday it was incredible. But it also proved the saying, Red skies at night, Sailor's delight, red skies in the morning, sailor's take warning, because it was AWFUL weather the entire day from like 10am to 6pm. Also, fun fact, the Brits say Shepherds take warning. Crazay!

When Memories Ruin Songs

I have very intense memories attached to some songs, a few are good memories that bring back a specific moment in my life, etc. But the most enduring/ vivid are attached to bad memories and result in the song being ruined for a long time.

The biggest example of this is the Elliott Smith song "Pitseleh," which I loved my freshman year until the actual worst night of my life when I instantly realized I had no friends and was betrayed by someone I thought was my friend, at 3am. And the person telling me off was a boy I looooovvvveeeeeeddddddd, though not really, well I loved him in a first intense crush kind of love. BTW I probably deserved to be told off, but it was such a fucked up, complicated year that I don't in any way blame my fragile, unhardened mind. Anyways. I literally had a panic attack and had to wake up my RA. I ended up spending the night on the floor of a kind hearted girl who didn't detest my presence like the rest of them, listening to Pitseleh over and over, struggling to be able to breath.

Basically the whole song spoke to me. Like, the whole thing. I felt so guilty for what had happened and so hurt. I couldn't listen to the song for about a year. Like it made me so uncomfortable to listen to it. Until another life shattering moment Sophomore year where I sat in my dorm room, with no lights on, and created a slide show on my laptop with the song Pitselah as the background. It seemed like the most fitting choice. So thus, now the song is associated with the greatest slideshow ever created.

Well, the point of this is, it's happened again. I can't listen to the song Raglan Road anymore. A song that several months ago was my favorite song. I associate it with June this year, a month where I thought everything in my life was great, that things I deserved were really happening to me, that I would actually be able to forget old feelings, cryptic shit, etc. Well then my life literally fell apart with the worst week of my life, which then brought on months of crippling anxiety and self-esteem issues, etc. So now, that's all I can think of when I listen to the greatest Irish song ever. Tragedy.

This.is.amazingx1000000

Background for Americans: Wagner is the kooky contestant on X Factor this year, the one people just keep voting for as a job. He's an old Brazilian man who plans the bongos. He also pronounces his name like Vaugner... hence why this clip works and is so brilliant.

I have an undying love for Hounds of Love, but this lyrically is definitely my theme song. It all rings so true!

"What about you? Are you happiest and saddest right now that you've ever been?" "Of course I am." "Why?" "Because nothing makes me happier and nothing makes me sadder than you."
— Nicole Krauss (The History of Love)

I give to you my future British Baby

Too.Real.

Except replace she with he:

Knitting on the Tube= improving my life

I've picked up knitting again. I dropped it after Grad School picked up and I didn't have long legs of time to spare. Well, for the past three weeks I've been crafting scarves again because I've found it's a perfect way to absorb the travel time on buses or the tube back to GG. And I've also found it makes me a maaannnn magnet. Well... sortof.

The first guy was on his way to class at Middlesex uni and started asking me what I was doing, then moved next to me and we chatted. He was fine, not my type and ultimately I think we'd have exactly nothing in common. Apparently he was in med school, or wanted to go to medical school, I don't know. All I know is that Middlesex is nooottt a great uni (ie it's ranked in the bottom 10) and does not have a med school. I told him my name because he wanted to find me on facebook (ha!). Probably stupid, but eh. I later realized that you can't search for me on facebook unless you're a friend of a friend. Problem solve.

Guy number two mayyy have been on cocaine. He was definitely on something. Fine, because it was 11pm and I was on my way back from a crazy night of watching the X Factor at a friends. He got on at Camden and immediately screamed at me: ARE YOU SERIOUSLY KNITTING ON THE TUBE?!!? We chatted briefly, he realized quickly I was American and was like, OF COURSE YOU'RE AMERICAN. YOU'RE SO EASY GOING. WE COULD NEVER KNIT ON THE TUBE BECAUSE WE HAVE LIFE TO WORRY ABOUT. Oh boy, if only he knew. He then get off at Belsize park. Oh and he asked me if I was from Baltimore, I assume this was because he's a wire fan.

But yea, I'm going to knit on the tube allll the timeee now.

x Factah

As per usual both Cher and Katie made me want to die on last night's X Factor. Katie wasn't teeerrrrriiibbbbllleeee, but her overall essence annoys me x 1000000.

I'm not alone though in this sentiment.

Here's the performance:

And here's what the Guardian's hilllarrriousss X Factor Blog said about it:

"There are no words for what I've just witnessed. At one point my eyeballs turned into black pebbles and fell out of my eyes. There's blood gushing uncontrollably out of my mouth. I've visibly aged since that song began. I can smell almonds. Someone help me.

Simon Cowell just called Katie a genius. Somewhere, far far away, a unicorn just died."

AHAHA amaazzzing.

Great Cover

True story: I saw My Morning Jacket open for Doves at the first real concert I went to when I was 15... it was wayyy before they were big. I thought they were crazy hippies, aka my music taste wasn't fully formed.

But, we all (aka just me) know the best Rocket Man cover...

DUH!

One word... AMAZING

Wow someone really hates my number 2 X Factor enemy...

I bet Katie Waissel made this...

Oh hellloooo

Just turned on the coolest show on TV, Time Team, just to see my boyfriend Dr. Jonathan Foyle wearing a hardhat and digging in dirt. Now he's gesturing enthusiastically with his hands, talking about the layout of a room. So hot.

Drinking, the national pastime of Great Britain

At some point over the last year my drinking habits completely changed. I didn't drink in high school (bc I was sooo KeWl!!), I baaareeelllyy drank in college, well I drank but not to the extent my peers did, and for most of grad school I rarely drank. Then around June my life started to change. Interestingly, this coincides with the end of my course and the beginning of my working career. Now being hungover is a weekend tradition of sorts. As is consuming a bottle of wine a night (a weekend night, I keep it easy on weekends). What has happened to me? I blame several factors:

1. Wine. I really really like wine. I don't know how I missed out on it throughout my undergrad. I mean I drank wine then but I didn't LOVE it. The problem is, I can drink wine verrryyy easily, I struggle to drink a beer, but wine I just guzzle. There were signs I'd have problems with wine. Like during my first Catz Night at Oxford (annual college fancy dinner and entz (Oxford party, blah too much lingo)) where I drank an entire bottle of wine and then basically spent 20 minutes telling poor Jonathan (who I BARELY knew) that he was a leprechaun who escaped Ireland because he drank ent (a la lord of the rings) water and grew so tall he was kicked out of his village. That's a true story, obviously not the leprechaun story, but I actually did tell Jonathan that story. I think it's a true sign of the destiny of our beautiful friendship that he didn't stop talking to me after that night and instead eventually invited me to the land of leprechaun's aka Northern Ireland. Anyways, I digress... I drink wine too easily. And wine is CHEAP here.
2. British drinking culture. British people can drink and they do so casually. What I mean is, in America when we would drink it would be usually a big to do, like let's look nice and go out. Here, people just drink whenever. I know I haven't been a Y-P in America, so it may be different, but I do think there's definitely a bigger drinking culture here.
3. I work with men. Men who love to drink. At happy hour on Fridays I forget my womanly body handles alcohol differently than them and try to keep up with them. Oh, and they always buy my drinks, so I drink more. Oyyyyy. Not good Hayley, not good.

This made me laugh so hard I literally could not breath. AMAZING.

Yes Please

This is actually my favorite piece of classical music ever. GORGEOUS. And this video is set to the final scene from Persuasion, though not from the version with mah baby Cieran Hinds. Aside, I still don't believe two people can be as much in love as Anne and Wentworth. Well, I don't believe men can love women that much. BITTER.

Anyways, this song is Oxford for me. I played it on my first coach ride into Oxford the moment it pulled into the city. The music fits autumn in England and just generally reminds me of Oxford and happy memories. Best.Year.Ever.

You go with your two feet bare Down through the cold lane there, to Brighton

What fantastic facial hair they all have.

A bonus to living in the UK is the access to more Louis Theroux. I remember two years ago (HOW WAS THAT TWO YEARS AGO!?) spending way too much time trying to locate Theroux's most documentary on the Phelps family, aka the most hated family in America. It was worth all the procrastination.

Tonight I watched his Weird Weekend with bodybuilders and it made my dinner infinitely more enjoyable.

By buying her book, I will clearly gain all the European male attention I've craved for years. I'm going to try that dance move the next time I'm anywhere that has music playing, such as EAT, which was playing Cloudbusting (!) when I went to go buy my sandwich today.

Found on BWE btw

FYI I think my girl Mercedes perfectly summed up why I'm moved by the It's get better project in this blog entry.

Mah Boyfriend

I basically live the life of a 50 year old recluse most days. I travel too and from work and spend my evenings by myself knitting, watching history documentaries on the BBC. I occasionally have a glass of wine if I'm feeling crazy. I wish this was a life. But it's not.

Things will improve greatly (if I pass my masters and get my visa ugh stress) once I move into my dream future home with one of my best Oxford friends in March... until then, this is my life most days of the week. Well, like half of the week.

Anyways, there's one person who has uplifted me from this depressing state of oh woes my life, Dr. Jonathan Foyle. Aka the hottest art historian EVER. He's BEAUTIFUL and so smart and I LOVE him. Sadly his documentary on Henry VIII's art was only two episodes long, so I'll have to seek him elsewhere. Because while I love my two main history series, Churches: How to Read them and Michael Wood's Story of England, the two hosts in that do not make me have sad fantasies of marriage. So, thank you Jonathan Foyle for bringing some light to my life.

Last one

Okay this one made me SOB. I can't believe I missed it as it's been all over the news... even the British news!

You go Boy

Here's another really good video from the It Gets Better Project. I love progressive people who are still deeply religious, thus showing the two do not necessarily conflict. And while I do not fit into any of the LBGTQ categories, I still find these videos really inspiring. Especially during weeks like this where I'm having an all round rough time. :(

best.political.opponent.eva

this one on the other hand...

everytime she raps, a small part of my soul dies.

I hate to say it, but worst person in the world's x factor performance last night was pretty good. Not that I watched the show last night. I was too busy drinking way too much. Feeling it today waaahhhh.

annnnddd it just started downpouring. Oh England!

Money Money Moooonnnaaayyyy

I've found it impossible to save money in this country. Part of that problem is that I'm currently earning a sad sad small amount (you gotta start somewhere!). Also part of that problem is big expenses that keep hitting me.

Such as:

-My flights to Dublin to fly home.

- My very very expensive flights to Belfast for Christmas (soooo much better than being alone for Christmas!).

- My exorbitantly expensive monthly travel card for the tube.

Ughhhhhh. And my skin has been SO bad that it's made me feel supa ugly so today I splurged on some clinique blemish makeup...praying that it restores mah beauty. I'm trying to write this off in my mind bc it cost exactly as much as work owes me for various purchases. But then (because I'm completely crazy) I keep thinking that work will not pay me back (which they always have and why wouldn't they?!).

In a few hours I'm meeting up with the lovely Mercedes. Who I haven't seen since I was sixteen! Whhhhhhaaaat! Then tonight I'm going to my friend's birthday party. Luckily my face shouldn't look like an ugly teenage. But by the end of the weekend I'm going to be a poor puppy.

I'm just so lucky I have a few months to sort my life/skin out before my student loans kick in. But starting next paycheck, I'm going to live like a pauper.

uhhh

I really want to see this. Tiny Furniture. It seems like a film that will really speak to my disgruntled, confused, bitter and ridiculous post grad mind. Plz have a London release!

Tiny Furniture Trailer from Lena Dunham on Vimeo.

Annnddd the girl who made it is 24. BITTER!

MAN.FRIENDS.

I have (as per usual) nothing to do this evening. So I've decided to briefly discuss my job. Not specific details about them as individuals, because I don't want to get embroiled in some public scandal after my bosses find out about this WILDLY successful blog, but an overview of what it's like to be the only girl in the office.

Things I have learned by being the only girl/ only American in my office:

1. I've had to get used to not being praised or thanked for doing ridiculous tasks. I used to think this was because I suck at my job, but now I tell myself it's because they're English. Though I still do have moments (ie today after my coworkers new computer malfunctioned for the 100000000th time) where I just want to scream out I went to three REALLY GOOD UNI's. Just to remind them that I'm not an idiot, despite the fact I can't accomplish things involving computers. I also want to tell our tech people that, perhaps throw in, when I was at Oxford, to let them know I'm not an idiot. I tried that kind of today (without fully reverting to the Oxford line), but the tech support guy just thought I was crazy.
2. Men like to complain. Mostly about the temperature.
3. They also like to talk about food a lot. This is great for me because food is one of my number one pastimes.
4. The men like to call me beaut, which helps me get through my day, though they refer to most women as this.
5. The banter in an all male (Plus me!) office is fantastic. Some days I hurt from laughing.
6. There will always be a sport even for them to get into. I thought they would be lost after the world cup. They've moved on.
7. They also don't notice my varying emotions. Or (perhaps more likely) they do and choose to ignore my varying mood changes.
8. There also is a lot of fantastic singing in my office. Mostly made up tunes of varying levels of offensiveness. Loves it.

xoxoxoxoxox my man friends.

My Top London Celeb Spotting covers New Order/ Joy Division

And for good measure, here's Arcade Fire covering New Order:

Cover songs are so fun. RIGHT? In both cases here, however, I must say, I prefer the original versions. For Ceremony, by original I mean the New Order version though I know it was first a Joy Division song.

Though, Kate Bush Cover songs are still the best.

A rare occurrence, I'm both laughing uncontrollably and extremely freaked out:

Oh American adverts.

Hello 80s

Back in April I bought a blazer at a thrift shop in Florida with hopes that I could wear it around now. PS- how was April 6 months ago?! Well, I finally got around to wearing said jacket today. Except I put it on and something wasn't right. I looked like a linebacker. I'm familar with a tiny bit of padding on the shoulders, but this was something else.

Realizing I was going to be late for my preferred morning tube, I cut open the blazer's lining and removed literally the largest shoulder pads I've EVER seen.

I realized this photo isn't great for size comparison... so I just took a size comparison pic with my laptop.

I mean... a little excessive right?

Sassygayfriend joins the amazing It Gets Better Project!

Thanks Mercedes for alerting me to this one. He's amazing, in and out of character.

Cotswolds

St. Mary's, Swinbrook, the third church visited

Ridiculous monument inside St. Mary's.

Fields outside the most isolated church we visited

Ennngglllaannddddd

I spent Saturday in the countryside, at the beginning of the Costwolds in Oxfordshire. Amaazing. I've wanted to go for a nice country walk in England for literally years. I was not dressed for this adventure, but eh. My H&M jacket was great though.

Basically, Oxford Northern Irish twin and I started in Burford and walked to this church (St. Oswalds), which is literally in a field by itself. It's on the site of an abandoned medieval village. The woman in the Burford tourist center said it was about a mile walk... it was actually about a 3 mile walk through fields. Magical! We then went to St. Mary's, Swinbrook, which was pretty near the tiny lonely church. It's actually where the Mitford sisters are buried, so that was a surprise. The church also had the craziest tomb I've ever seen (see above).

After that church we went to this swanky country pub filled with ridiculously posh people. Like Americans idea of English people. It was a lovely pub. We also saw a countless Range Rovers.

Then we had a very very long walk back, hitting two more churches on the way. By the end we were both knackered and just spent a lot of time staring into space. I also laid on his kitchen floor to stretch my back, because I'm class like that! Overall, a magical magical English day! Even if the sun didn't come out at well. Tis' the season of mists after all!

Now it's X Factor time... please let Katie be voted off. Please.

I give to you the two worst people on X Factor

One clearly is sick with an eating disorder and wears awful clothing, the other is actually the worst person in the world.

WORST PERSON EVER!

And I give to you the BEST PEOPLE EVER on X Factor

DIVA FEVER!!!

Thanks Radio 6

I love Radio 6. It's the hipsta BBC radio station. I was introduced to it at my friend's house a few weekends ago because it's all her hip Oxford intellectual housemates listen to. I feel like two years of my life could have been a touch better if I had it in my life. No, more than that because you can access BBC radio in America.

Anyways, here's an amazing song by the "Neo Goth" (?!?!?!) American singer Zola Jesus (?!?!) that I discovered via Radio 6. Her music is perfect Autumn/Winter in England music. Haunting and sad.

Also, she's 21... younger than me. Scary.

HELLLL YESSSS

SO EXCITED. I've seriously wanted to see this since I took a Shakespeare and Film course almost two years ago at GW... it was being filmed then. It looks crazy and amazing.

my latest anxiety trigger

I keep thinking about whether I failed my dissertation. If I failed my dissertation then I failed my masters and wasted 35k. And won't even be eligible for my much desired most study visa. I've never failed anything in my life, but I just keep thinking about it. Oy.effing.Vey!

KATE KATE KATE

Sometimes I worry that I've found all the Kate Bush songs I'll ever be obsessed with, that all are left are the obscure and hard to love ones that I haven't exactly been swayed by yet. I'm not even kidding, this is a legitimate fear in my life. Well Saturday morning gifted me with a new obsession.

It lay buried here. It lay deep inside me.
It's so deep I don't think that I can speak about it.
It could take me all of my life,
But it would only take a moment to

Tell you what I'm feeling,
But I don't know if I'm ready yet.
You come walking into this room
Like you're walking into my arms.
What would I do without you?

Ahhhhh AMAZING!

TUBE STRIKE

The tube workers went on strike today for the second time in protest of proposed cuts. During the last strike in mid September I had no problem getting to work. I laughed at people like my boss who had to walk from Paddington. I got to work quicker than usual actually. And I had no problems getting home.

I assumed today's strike would be like the last. I was wrong. Very wrong.

I checked online and saw Moorgate was closed, yet I figured I could just get off at London Bridge and walk for 15 minutes. Well I knew when walking to the tube that my plan was going to fail. Normally I see a few trains pass by, this time I saw none. Further, upon reaching the platform I saw it was crowded, it's NEVER crowded. Then no trains were going via the Bank branch. So I got on a Charing Cross branch and figured I would transfer at Camden. Wrong again. I couldn't even get onto the Bank side at Camden it was so crowded. And there wasn't going to be another train for 15 minutes.

So I checked my London mapbook and saw there was a bus straight from Camden to Moorgate! Great!! Wrong again. I literally waited 40 minutes for the 214 bus. During those 40 minutes only one came and it was TINY. I probably could have forced my way on but I thought another one would soon follow. Well at 905, already late for work, I made a decision, I would walk to Moorgate from Camden. A distance of about 4 miles. So walked I did, getting to work over an hour late.

I learned my lesson.

The way back was fine. Well, on a normal day it would be hellish, but after the morning it was a walk in the park. I waited about 15 minutes for a Northern line train at Moorgate. There didn't appear to be any Edgware bound trains so I just went on the High Barnet line and made a point not to attempt to transfer at Camden, instead riding it to East Finchley where I caught a bus.

Ridiculous. I feel like my whole day was consumed by the strike. And they have more planned! OY VEY.

There was, however, one exciting thing that came out of today. My tale of woe made it onto the BBC.

And I quote:

"1058: Hayley from Golders Green e-mails to say she was 90 minutes late for work in Moorgate after she could only take the Northern Line as far as Camden Town. "It was so crowded that I couldn't even get on to the Bank branch platform (later I saw they had locked the station)," she writes. "I gave up on the Tube and decided to take the 214 to Moorgate. It was a tiny, tiny bus and only one came in 40 minutes. So I gave up and walked from Camden to Moorgate." She says she has no idea how she'll get home."

WIN WIN WIN

HOME ALONE

None of my housemates have been home all weekend. I LOVE IT! I never talk to them anyways (yup, real social house), so I don't miss them. It was great yesterday with Ruth and even better by myself today. I've had the whole house to myself, which means I've been able to binge watch TV all day.

Now I'm watching X Factor and eating carrot cake. I wish I had started watching X Factor when it first started, it's AMAZING (I know it's not a new thing at all... haha). I think my family will love it when they start the American version.

That is all. Yum cake.

I also just realized that three years ago today I moved into my staircase at Oxford. Three effing years!!! How is that possible? Anyways, here's the first of many photos I took in Oxford.

Weekend again

So a clothes update since I know you're all eagerly wondering what I decided on. I returned the H&M sweater and Gap dress number 1. I replaced Gap dress with a top I really liked, that was luckily half the price of the dress so I still got 8£ back. Happy days.

Then Ruth came over and I made her seriously the most amazing dinner. Gordon Ramsay's Mac and Cheese, as featured in the Guardian. It was way too complicated for students (who it was apparently designed for) and it was a lot more expensive than the stated cost, but so delish and it provided a lot of leftovers. And I bought a 5£ roasting pan to cook it in, so now I have something good to cook mah dinner tonight in, Roast Vegetables.

Also, I need to stop spending money. For real this time.

Anyways, Ruth and I watched the Wire and an ep of Law and Order UK, where Ruth told me how it's an inaccurate portrayal of the UK justice system. SAD. Then we watched youtube and she slept on mah floor.

This morning we went to Carmelli's the famous Golders Green Jewish bakery. I didn't think their bagels would be great because now entering my third year in the UK (including Oxford CRAZY), I have yet to eat a decent bagel. Well... Carmelli's have AMAZING bagels. Win win win.

Now I'm laying in bed watching the rain and yet again wishing I had a boyfriend to holddd meeee. And I can't believe the weekend is almost over.

how have I not seen this before?!?!?!

AMAZING

aw yeaaa

The rain I was promised today was started. It makes my cops watching all the most acceptable. American Cops... so so amazing.

Weekend... revised

I just went to Oxford Street with the thoughts of getting a new jacket (a nice autumn casual one) and hitting up Primark for some cheap basics/ a makeup bag. I ended up getting said jacket and a cheap chic sweater. I started walking to Primark and that's when I got in trouble. I saw a sign in Gap. A sign that read SALE. And there went

my money. I LOVED everything I tried on. I had to stare at various items for like half an hour before I could decide which would make the cut. In the end I decided on two sweater dresses, SO much nicer than the ones I tried on in H&M and they originally were 50£ each. But I really really shouldn't have spent that much money. I'm going to have to really consider returning something/ not eat for a week. Ugh! I'm trying to console myself for the fact that I haven't gone shopping in forever (aka two weeks), but I know I've been a bad girl.

Anyways, here's the stash.

Also I just saw an advert for a travel agency that ca

ters to people who have no one to go on vacation with. My future. And I'm watching Cops.

Luckily Ruth is coming over tonight for a slumber party, so I will have some social activity this weekend. And she can provide me with her opinion on the clothes.

Sweater from H&M... I'll probably return this one, though I really need sweaters. It just makes me look like a fat tay.

Though it looks good with my super cool new jacket.

Obsessed with this jacket. Obsessed! But I def think the sweater will be returned.

Gap Sweater dress 1. I'm not sure. I really liked this one in the store, though the angle etc may take away from its cuteness.

Work it girl.

Gap Sweater Dress 2. Really like this one, though it doesn't look that great in the photo. I had a few days last week where I felt like I was dressed like an intern. I think this dress will transcend me into the YP category.